Empréstimo

Vendedor sonhos 

a preço de banana

cobrando cupons

quem sabe me engana

desinformação confidencial

hoje é risco de vida

correndo risco de ser banal

te digo pra que prossiga

sentido?
tentei mas consegui achar

em minha mente insana

parecem estar

respostas estranhas

sem nada indagar

talvez pense demais

no que é errado

talvez algo mais

me aguarde guardado

munição no pente

teclado apertado

palavras na mente

penso engatilhado

qual será a razão social?

que torna'lguns "excesso"

mas se tu tem "sucesso"

dizem-te que é o tal?

deschecando o limite

cheque especial

coração não palpite

só teu saldo total

não me convence

um simples numeral

qual querem que pense

definir teu pessoal

transite

mira mas que primitivo
primatas intuitivos
vivendo no imperativo
moedas como motivo

virou desapiedado
se esquece de olhar para o lado
ocupa-se autocentrado
pra valorizar "pecado"

aquele se diz racional
no espelho se vê imoral
vê tudo como carnaval
infelicidade é banal

algum ainda se encontra vivo
nas sombras encontra ouvido
parado por qual motivo?
até estagnar como verbo
consegue ser transitivo

Um inVerso

tudo aquilo que é impuro
só precisa de refino
corpo adulto, mente criança
na alma menino

sorrio na rua
ando em cima de um meio fio
olho pra lua
bobagens as quais aprecio

nunca posso dizer estar só
levo no peito algo maior
carrego a certeza sempre comigo
que feliz serei de verdade
se olhar pra fora do umbigo

enquanto mergulho dentro de mim
os carros passam na rua lá fora
o mundo não espera, sempre foi assim
não mudará simplesmente agora

exploro esquemas de rima
nem sei dos quais mais me gosta
lembro o sorriso de menina
do que vem la dentro se o lábio se encosta

puxo do lado o violão
dedilho notas sem sentido
se não consigo ouvir o coração
nada em vida se mostra sentido

já fui chamado de louco,
insano e hoje me dizem correto
loucura pra mim é pouco
não cabe dentro de um alfabeto

Senhor de mim

me pego
espionando ao futuro
vezes próximo e claro
outras longe obscuro

angustia
vejo o pior a se arquitetar
imagens grotescas
na mente a passar

a morte me presumira
dia pós dia me perderia
a cada passo me odiaria
vejo-me sempre a sofrer
pelo negativo que tendo a prever

até que chega a esquina e respiro
acaba o dia e ainda senhoreio-me
gira o mundo ao redor de sorrisos

o alivio então chega
traz consigo a certeza
de que mais um segundo
ainda seguro
me traz a beleza

expectativa negativa X realidade vivida
nem tudo que vives é o que te limita
afinal se assim fosse
sem graça e surpresa
qual era a graça da vida?

Take 2

years have passed

minds have changed

values are now shown to be firmly executed

the time when nothing mattered is gone

despite the experiences I lived

only now I feel really alive

years that are still to come

a different point of view now to be taken

can come out now that the shell is broken

life shapes us in ways we do not expect

sometimes smoothly,

sometimes with disrespect

no reason to rhyme

just take out the feelings

regurgitate emotions

bleed out before I...

reform on the inside

the true meaning of life?
I'll let you know as soon as i find

no difference on the outside

but now I can understand it ain't what it counts

Another (simple?!) Night

I'm the first one to wake up
look around, two sleeping bodies
are quite moveless around me
just a few spasmsand a regular deep breath

That scene is so familiar
again I see that hangover face
on my semi-awake and their sleeping faces

the sun is coming in the room for hours now
but nothing seem to uncomfort them
not even my moves around the room
those which actually moves them a bit

a few sounds try to permeate the window
some make it throgh the foggy atmosphere
and finally reach my ears, but I can't recognise them
for being cutted and blent
with that regular, loud, but calming fan noise

the memories from last night
are all spread in the empy cans
roaches and ashtrays around us

the options to to drink are a few:
between them, the hot soda sitting outside the fridge since yesterday
on a close to 30º seems to be the best choice...

better at least than the two already open beer cans,
with or without ashes

nicotin in the otherhand is everywhere
only where I can see there are four closed packages of cigarretes
making me think that in the room are at least 10 of them
besides a fresh open handrolling tobacco which seems to call my name

regrets could be a good choice
I smile instead and put more grass into the pipe

surely this will be another good night
we'll still remember drinking a beer
and laugh the shit out of ourselves

old thinkings, new madness

It's funny as we grow old
our perceptions 'bout the world
being changed

talking to someone younger
thinking about what I did considered right some years ago
now doing stuff I never tough I would
acting like I never tough I should

the perception of someone who is that age
the age I was some years ago
is now judging me for these attitudes

oh what a negatory
judgement so mandatory
self perception obligatory

the life doesn't mean the same anymore
now there's expectation
even expectators

feels like degenerating
into something that is melting
floating thru numbness
...

Could this be my madness?

Big or Small for us to relevate?

Back to the same

same friends

same stuff

everything it's back to the usual

the discussions are over now

the troubles seem so small

all that counts is our friendship

once again

if the memories were stronger could be different

but still we relevate for our moment

could we forget everything

just to be happy with ourselves once again?

for a few days that doubt came to me

but thanks for you to be

so good friends and still believe

on intentions which are free

(for those who were present at august, the 12th, 2012)

colcha de retalhos

sentimentos confusos
tomando o lugar de racionalização
ideias embaralhadas
tornam-se emoções

uso um tear para a conclusão
projetos falhos
acabam-se as linhas
tomo para mim novos novelos

estes ainda novos
ainda há muito por vir
deixamos o passado
temos mesmo de ir

aproximo-me mais um pouco
da lenha queimando lentamente
estralos, fagulhas sobem aos céus
porém logo perdem seu brilho
agora só me restam cinzas

apesar de toda a agonia


desperta-te fobia

falta-me o ar
falta-me o olhar
sobram lembranças que nunca passarão

virUSE

despite the effort
long life of changing
the irony still growing
past participates the breathlessness

present continues to grow illness
the mental virus is spreading faster
faster than you could have thought
and then the diversities are lost

so then we run on treadmills
with all the effort we eventually get tired
but the machine keeps pulling us back
and surely we'll all fall

what about the future?
oh the future
with all his dead burning hopes and dreams
what a beautiful  dream we have

about the development
about the enrichment
about the government
forget about enviroment

let's sign some papers and say we care
we have huge money, what matter so?

oh the world good world
forgot how to live for yourself
in effort to reach the fame
dreaming to be richer
dying to be important




living to be used

Back to the Same

After a long time

the problems are stil the same

ideas being pushed to us
another kind of feeling grows

now I'll have to understand
I have to push back

my values are not wrong...

my values are not right...

simply because such thing doesn't exist

my mind is changing all the time,

and the external world seems to remais the same

but it's changing

maybe for the best, but probably for the worst

there are some people getting rich

while populations across the world

still starve and try to survive

the men's selfish is, in general, growing

while the sense of sharing is floating away

but still I rather think of this sense as a cloud

wich is always floating and gatting bigger,

so hopefully some day

the storm will come

and the roots of the selfishness wont be so strong

and this terrible tree will be fallen to bring back the life as it should be

places

places, how can they change your feelings?

walking for hours to get there

first look aorund, all I can see is a great view

you´ll never get those feelings by looking at a picture

peter, joe and I, sitting on the edge of a cliff

there´s no need to be afraid despite the incredible height of it

even without any kind of safety device

a bad place to be, my mom says

a bad place to be, society says

turn around, there´s another group there too.

they are just doing the same thing we are

nothing, just being amazed by the amazing view

discover another universe

another way to live

just nature surround us

there are cows and horses anywhere I look

but then i look back to the city

what seemed so pretty seconds ago, now makes me sad.

there´s no kind of life, not even human life

just the ilusion of it.

turn back again trying to escape that terrible feeling

then I notice that this amazing place is filled with garbage

there are papers, cigarretes and every kind of packs

feeling sad again

a place with a really rare peace

is suposed to be kept that way

but that´s not how people think

irony?

nature shines, even reflected on it´s own destrution...

photo & text: Otaviano Fontanini

dictatorship of hapiness

In the capitalist world we are living today, the search for hapiness is becoming more and more atractive, but when the sorrows and frustrations are being locked on a drugs cage, we have to admit there´s something wrong going on.

When we think about it, taking pills that promises to take your bad feelings away, that seem to be an excellent choice. But is it really necessary to feel so happy all the time? Certainly there seems to be a very simple choice, but when we swallow all the available drug cocktails, we are leaving behind feelings that usually constructs a man.

Thinkin about never being sad seems great, but what´s the price we have to pay for it? We are constantly bombarded by the consumerist media messages, and that´s where we find the problem. People are being taken to think that the financial sucess walks besides hapiness, with that in mind, they are doing everything possible to get rich, as quick as possible.

That´s not happening on individual scale, whole countries explore others to get their wealth. With those minds and actions, the social differences are getting huge.

A world reformation is sadly a utopian solution, but we surely have to think over: what kind of hapiness concept we are being subjected?

Otaviano Fontanini

confusion

back to a place

used to be so cozy

now i don't recognize anymore

slices of passion

walk across a long gallery

pictures of myself

who are those people

they used to ken me

who am I?

don't recognize myself

another sentence

same hang

some things changed

others didn't

other responsibilities

same skills

charging the unknown

evrything seem so dissimilar

but still the same

I think I'll have to make new answers

to the old questions

sickness

if you had a son

and he were beaten till death with a baseball bat

would you want to put the bat on a wall as a finery?

that's what they do with jesus' cross

MOTHER FUCKER

difference?

Nothing defines better my view than what jackie just told me

"to me, what's different is intresting, and what's intresting, is handsome"

thanks for sharing my point of view

that means a lot

Uzbekistan

"I don't understand French, but if I could,
I would write beautiful songs about horrible things...
because it is said to be the language of love and romance...
and if love didn't exist, there wouldn't be any horrible things.
You must care to cry, love something in order to hate something...
You must have a heart in order for it to be broken.
Many people walk in a dream.
They feel entitled to happiness and feel anger when it is not waiting for them.
I know that the world owes me nothing, yet has given me a great deal.
It is our own perception we get to bend and mold to our liking-
once that is accomplished, the reality we once knew begins to change.
My neighbor may be dark and gloomy, but I find it a perfect day to go outside.
I can knock on his door, but that doesn't mean he will answer.
And I will have to walk away, sad, from his little house
where he sleeps and smokes and drinks all day,
just to escape what he does not yet know.
We find ourselves in little boxes watching little boxes.
We see an edited version of human life, targeted on alienating us as individuals,
to distract us from the seedy underbelly of politics and business.
We are products of a Machiavellian society.
Look at the pretty girl dancing- her hair is so shiny.
I want my hair to be shiny. Look at the man with chizzled features-
use the razor he is using. It will give you the kind of charm that woman crave.
Women will want you. Men will adore you. You will be happy. You will be empty.
Because it is not about the product, but the feeling they try to convey.
And it is not for your benefit, it is for the benefit of the holders of the company.
We must burn our little boxes. We must create dialogue.
We must realize the importance of every moment.
We must turn our boredom to gratitude.
Use your hands, your thoughts, your hunger.
These things are yours and yours alone "

manifesto pela escrita

Dizer algo sem ser ouvido é algo terrível, porém isso é algo recorrente, por mais que as pessoas finjam interesse, ou de fato ouçam o que digo, muitas vezes penso em o quão indiferentes elas podem ser quanto a isso.

Sei que verbalizar pensamentos e ideais pode ser um grande modo de expressão, causar um impacto visual muitas vezes é um excelente modo de persuasão, mas cada vez mais o mundo fica surdo e cego para visões alternativas. Apesar de todos os pensamentos diferirem entre si, a tendência global é de acomodação em idéias simples ou parecidas com as suas.

Hoje ouvi um pensamento que mudou meu modo de ver as pessoas: "O conhecimento é dividido em 4 pontos: O senso comum; A informação; O conhecimento e; A sabedoria. A transição do senso comum para a informação é quase que passivo, contanto que a informação esteja disponível, para sair da informação e ir para o conhecimento, é preciso algum esforço e pensamento, já para chegar a sabedoria, você precisa se esforçar e ler muito.". Essa conclusão me fez enxergar que apesar de algum esforço, estou no nível do conhecimento em poucos assuntos e, em nenhum alcancei a sabedoria.

Pensei sobre isso algum tempo e percebi que isso se dá devido a facilidade de acesso a informação superficial que nos está disponível hoje, a maioria dos assunto, ao chegarmos ao patamar da informação, nos damos por satisfeitos. Poucas são as pessoas que se preocupam, de propósito ou sem querer, a obter conhecimento sobre algo. Talvez por falta de fontes, muitas vezes por desinteresse, mas acho que uma sociedade com informação, mas sem conhecimento, não é o suficiente.

As fontes de informação não se preocupam mais em aprofundar-se em assuntos importantes, só passam superficialmente, por tópicos com maior impacto para o público que pretendem alienar, devido a falta de espaço e tempo para as mídias faladas e/ou visuais.

A escrita, além de ser um meio tão eficaz quanto os outros, se perpetua.

Por isso faço um apelo: Pensem, questionem, obtenham conhecimento a partir de informações, conversem sobre isso, mas mais do que isso, escrevam suas conclusões, seus pensamentos, suas emoções. Esse é o modo mais eficaz de se comunicar com outras pessoas.

Otaviano Fontanini - 25 de novembro de 2010

torture

there can be no machines

or devices

there can be no fisical pain

or bruises

but everywhere i look

i can see brainwash

and thinking-blocking speaches

welcome to the new century

welcome to the tecnology century

welcome to the painless tortured mass century